From the Past
by mittengal
Summary: Ronon needs advice to deal with a past memory.


From the Past

Ronon waited anxiously in the home of the Satedan Elder who had performed his marriage to Amelia. He was reminded of the required quarterly visits to the Atlantis psychiatrist. He was never comfortable there, giving monosyllabic answers to the questions asked, and leaving as soon as possible. This was not quite as bad, tho he wished the Elder would hurry.

The door opened, and the elderly man apologized for keeping Ronon waiting.

"Good to see you again, Ronon Dex," he said. "How can I help you?"

Ronon nodded, unsure of how to begin.

"I'm not good at talking, but, uh, my friend Teyla said I should speak with you and, uh, she is usually right about stuff like that," Ronon said, unable to meet the man's eyes.

"The Athosian woman? I have heard she has much wisdom!" the Elder replied.

"Yes she does," Ronon said. "She is like a sister to me, and helped me adjust when I first came to Atlantis."

"So what is bothering you, young man? Take a few deep breaths and try to relax," the much older man said.

"It's hard to get started," Ronon said, looking very uncomfortable.

"Is it a marriage problem?" the Elder asked.

"No," Ronon said. "Amelia is great! No problems there."

Ronon took a deep breath.

"There is something I have never told anyone about. I don't know why, but I now feel the need to, but I can't get the words out. I have tried to tell my wife, and then Teyla. That's when she said I might be better able to talk to you." Another deep breath, then, "I nearly died one time when I was a Runner. Or maybe I did die. Or maybe it was a dream."

Ronon was sweating.

He told the Elder about being attacked by a wild beast with venomous fangs. He killed it, but sustained a deep bite wound on his leg. Soon he realized he was poisoned. He was sheltering in a cave, which had a mineral in the rock which blocked the Wraith from detecting him. He was delirious from fever for weeks.

Once during this time, he found himself attempting to climb a high hill, but the ground was loose, and he kept sliding back down. On top of the hill he saw his parents, grandparents, siblings, old friends he had grown up with, men from his squadron, all dead. They all ignored him. He also saw Melena, his first love who had been killed before his eyes. She looked at him and motioned him away, then turned and went with the others. He lay down and wept in despair. Then he felt a soft hand stroke his head, and his mother's voice said, "my little man, you have suffered so much."

Ronon looked up at her. "I haven't been little for a long time!"

"You always were my little man and always will be!" she said. "I wish there was something I could do to prevent your suffering, but I can't. I can tell you there will be more hard times, but they will end. It's not your time to cross over. There is much ahead for you in your life."

"I want to be with Melena, but she ran away," Ronon said.

"You loved her, but Melena is not your Life Mate. When the time is right, your paths will cross, and she will be everything you want and need in a woman. You will help one another heal. You will have children and grow old together. Before you meet her, a foolish woman will hurt you, but don't give up! You will be a great man, much respected."

She stroked his head again, then said,"I must leave now. Keep what I told you in your heart."

Then Ronon was back in the cave, feverish and hurting. He recovered and eventually left when rains flooded the cave, a Runner again for several years.

The Elder closed his eyes and sat still. Ronon wondered if he should say something to him, or maybe leave. Had he fallen asleep? Ronon decided to leave, embarrassed that he had shared something so deeply personal, only to put the old man to sleep!

But then his eyes opened and he said, "I'm not asleep. I was in meditation. Do you know what that is?"

"Yes. Teyla does that a lot. I tried it a few times but I always fall asleep," Ronon answered, relieved.

The Elder smiled. "You are a man of action!"

"Why did I feel so compelled to talk about a dream, or whatever it was, that happened years ago?" Ronon said.

"It was not simply a dream," the Elder replied. "You had given up and wanted to die, but it was not your time to enter the Afterlife. You have much to accomplish in this life. Your mother has been watching over you until she knows you no longer need her help. That time has come. She is pleased with the path you are on and feels free to move on in the Afterlife, and she wants you to know."

"So the Afterlife is climbing up a hill?" Ronan asked.

"That was symbolic of your situation," the Elder answered.

Ronon thought that over. "I think I understand," he said. "I just never thought about stuff like that."

"As I said, you are a man of action. We all have our purpose in this life," the Elder said.

"Do you think I should share this with Amelia?" Ronon asked. "She might think it's weird!"

"It's not my place to tell you what to do, only guide you in making your own decisions," the Elder replied. " But I will say that she worries when you go on missions. And she thinks about having a family, tho she never speaks about these concerns."

Ronon was thoughtful for a few minutes, then said, "I should leave now. Do I owe you anything?"

"Not at this time. But we will meet again," he said.

Ronon gave him a quizzical look.

"Don't worry, the future will unfold in it's own good time. Go home to your wife!" the Elder said, in effect dismissing him.

Returning thru the Gate, Ronon saw that Amelia was not at the console. He found her watching a movie in their quarters. "How was Solen?" she asked. He had told her he was going there to see how his old friend was doing. "I'm surprised you don't smell like beer!" she said with a laugh, giving him a hug. She stretched up to kiss him but he held her away.

"I need to talk to you," Ronon said.

Amelia's happy expression changed to concern. "That doesn't sound good," she replied.

"Sit down," Ronon said, as he sat on their small couch.

Looking down at his clenched hands, he started in, before he got tongue tied as usual.

"I did not see Solen as I told you, but I went to see the Elder. I'm sorry I lied, but I did not know how to tell you the trurh."

Amelia turned pale. What could this be about? Nothing good, she feared.

He told her about the experience so many years ago, and what the Elder had said. He wished he had thought to bring a recording device. McKay would get a laugh out of that!

He looked up at Amelia, not sure what to expect. Would she be angry, laugh, or tell him he was crazy? She had tears in her eyes.

"Oh, Ronon!" she said. He reached out and enveloped her in a hug, and she clung tightly to him.

"I'm sorry I pushed you away, but I didn't want to get distracted," he said. "And please forgive me for lying to you!"

"There is nothing to forgive. I know this has been hard for you," she answered. "I'm glad you sought the Elder's advice."

"I'm glad you don't think I'm crazy!" Ronon said.

"Not at all. I believe in the Afterlife and I believe your mother looked after you. You survived things that would have destroyed most people. I wish I could have met my mother-in-law!" Amelia said.

"Mother what?" asked Ronon.

"Mother-in-law is what a person's spouse's mother is called on Earth," she replied.

"Oh yeah! I remember, in-laws are relatives by marriage," he replied.

"The Elder was right, I won't worry as much when you are gone off world," Amelia said. "And I think about a family too. But it would be hard here on Atlantis. It works out for Teyla with Torren, but I want a real house and for our children to play outdoors. And for you to teach them to hunt and track. But we are here now."

"Yes," Ronon sighed. "It's good you have your plastic thing. What's it called?"

"IUD," Amelia said. "Better than taking pills."

Ronon looked down, and took a deep breath. "They still want me on Sateda. Governor Cai is planning to start an Army in the near future." He hesitated. "Would you go?"

Without hesitation, she answered. "Of course! As well as your wife, I'm now a Satedan."

They kissed, and Amelia said, "is it OK to be distracted now?"

Ronon picked her up and headed for the bed.


End file.
